First, I'd like to say Thanx to those of you who replied to my posting "I'd Like Your Opinion"....It's good to know that there's still a real feeling of unity in The US concerning the Terrorist Attacks......At least among the Cable Population......
Now, I'm not in favor of profiling...Shit, Find a pic of me on my website and you can see why I get pissed whenever I get pulled over because I "Look The Part" of someone who's up to something.....Also, I love the fact that people are there to screen us as we gain access to airports...I know someone's looking out for us to some degree......
However:
To ensure we never offend anyone -
particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be
allowed to profile people.
They will continue random searches of 80-year-old
women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service
agents who are members of the President's security detail and 85-year old
Congressmen with metal hips.
Pause a moment and take the following test.
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Norwegians from Ballard;
(b)
Elvis;
( c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women;
or
(d)
Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In
1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy;
(b) Crazed feminists screeching that being
able to throw a grenade beyond its own burst radius was an unfair and sexist
requirement in basic training;
( c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news
day;
or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40.
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Luca Brazzi, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2;"
(b) The
Tooth Fairy;
( c) Butch and Sundance who had a few sticks of dynamite left
over from the train thing;
or
(d) Muslim male extremists
mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1998, the U.S. embassies
in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers;
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wee Willie's
women problems;
( c) the WWF, to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the
Merciless;"
or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between
the ages of 17 and 40.
On 9/11/01, four airliners were
hijacked and destroyed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny,
(b) the Supreme Court of Florida trying to outdo
their attempted hijacking of the 2000 Presidential election;
(c) Mr.
Bean;
or
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40.
How'd you do? Did you detect a pattern that
would indicate we'd better take a close look at a certain type of individual who
might be boarding an airplane with something on his mind other than "What's the
in-flight movie?"
You think so?
Horrors! You're
nothing more than a closet racist who could never be hired as an official
federal airport screener. You probably molest goats too - but that's
another column.
So, as it now stands, we have the Transportation
Security
Administration (letterhead: "No way we're flying.") trying to
improve the professionalism of airport screeners by lowering standards and
forbidding the use of common sense in screening people. Makes sense,
right?
Right.
Pardon me while I go bang my head
against the wall.
Maybe that'll help me understand.
Later,
SD
